Timelord fiddly bits
by yummytimelord
Summary: The Doctor and Rose discussing Timelord biology


_**Doc: "Timelord fiddly bits are much more complicated than human fiddly bits!"**_

_**Rose: "What, you mean they sit around brooding and not talking to you?"**_

_**Doc: "I do not brood! I contemplate the infinite complexity of time and space, etc."**_

_**Rose: "etc?"**_

_**Doc: "Well obviously I've to concentrate on other more terresterial concerns from time to time, like saving planets, fixing the TARDIS, rescuing jeopardy friendly companions, entertaining said companions not to mention figuring out where my next banana's coming from, etc."**_

_**Rose: "Oh well I'm glad you decided to lower yourself in order to entertain me, and I wouldn't need rescuing if you didn't keep dragging me into potentially fatal situations!"**_

_**Doc: "But all the safe places are boring! Besides, you love it."**_

_**Rose: "Allright, maybe a little."**_

_**Doc: "Excellent, because I know exactly where we should head next!"**_

_**Rose: "Hang on a sec, you tried to distract me! Step away from the console and tell me what's so different about Timelord fiddly bits or I'm not settin' foot outside those doors for the next week!"**_

_**Doc: "Awww Rose!"**_

_**Rose: "I mean it! And no trying to distract me either!"**_

_**Doc: "Fine! Why are you so interested anyway?"**_

_**Rose: "Well what if something happens to you? Like at Christmas? I didn't know what was normal for you or what.**_

_**Doc: "So you wish to know more about my genetalia in case I get hurt?"**_

_**Rose: "Yes, I mean no, I mean I should really know a bit more about you, you've got two hearts, fine, lower body temperature, OK, but what's too low? Do you have all the stuff a human has?"**_

_**Doc: "Like a penis?"**_

_**Rose: "I said no distracting! Come on Doctor, I felt useless when you were sick."**_

_**Doc: "OK, OK. Come on I've a few medical books squirreled away in the library somewhere, we can start with the binary vascular system, let you know how these two baby's work without either flooding or depriving my system of blood…. Well, you coming or what?"**_

_**Rose: "Um…"**_

_**Doc: "Yes?"**_

_**Rose: "Well…"**_

_**Doc: "Come on, spit it out."**_

_**Rose: "Am, you brought it up! But, um, do you, am, well, do you have, you know?"**_

_**Doc: "No Rose I don't know, why don't you tell me?"**_

_**Rose: "Ah…"**_

_**Doc: "Reproductive organs perhaps?"**_

_**Rose "You know what let's just start with you binary whatchamacallit."**_

_**Doc: "Oh no, you said no distractions, besides I'm really quite interested in how much redder your face can possibly get at this rate."**_

_**Rose: "Oi!"**_

_**Doc: "Didn't you get a look at my bits and pieces when you put me into Howard's pyjamas? It was you right? Please don't tell me Jackie got an eye full! The woman's practically one step away from ravaging or slaping me at any given time! Oh no…"**_

_**Rose: "What? What's wrong?"**_

_**Doc: "All that slapping! It must be her way of dealing with all that pent up sexual attraction for me! Rose you can't go home anymore!"**_

_**Doc: "Why Rose Tyler, did you just snort?"**_

_**Rose: "Did not".**_

_**Doc: "Did too"**_

_**Rose "Did not"**_

_**Doc: "Did too, did too!"**_

_**Rose: "Did not, did not, did not! I put you in those pyjamas not mum and no I did not get an 'eyefull' at Christmas, didn't need to take off your underwear to put you in pyjamas you know".**_

_**Doc: "Unfortunately"**_

_**Rose: "What?"**_

_**Doc: "I said fortunately I was wearing underwear"**_

_**Rose: "Fortunately? As in you don't always?"**_

_**Doc: "I'm an alien Rose, all that clothing designed specifically to cover and contain sexual organs and generally worn under even more to disguise your bodies is a very human invention. You humans are awfully fond of your layers considering you seem to enjoy looking at each other in much less."**_

_**Rose: "Me? Layers! Says the man in enough t-shirts, shirts and jackets to stop a bullet!"**_

_**Doc: "What? It's a look! And besides only the top half of me has succumbed to multiple garments, whereas you have quite probably 9 pieces of clothing on your person at this moment, including socks but not shoes. I only have six! Wait, wait, make that five! Aha!**_

_**Rose: "You took off your jacket! That's cheating!"**_

_**Doc: "Is not"**_

_**Rose: "If you can take off your jacket then I can loose a few bits too!" (yanks off jacket and hoodie)**_

_**(Doc strips off shirt and hops around while attempting to pull off cons and socks)**_

_**(Rose kicks off trainers and socks before pulling off one of her string tops leaving only a small tight string top that stops above her navel)**_

_**Doc: "I'm still winning, you've got 4, I've only 2!"**_

_**(Rose pulls bra out of arm of top)**_

_**Doc: "Um, you've still got 3)**_

_**(Rose begins to slowly unbutton jeans)**_

_**Doc: "You know… *discreet cough* there's only one way to win this game…"**_

_**Rose: Oh?**_

_**Doc: Who ever gets to zero first wins!!!**_


End file.
